Finding Your True Identity Beyond Shame
There is a chapter of your story that you wish nobody could read. A version of yourself you've quietly retreated into after something broke. The Bible has a word for that place: Lodebar. It means "no pasture," a forgotten dusty village where people ended up when life went sideways. In this Mother's Day message, Pastor Jess DiSabatino walks through 2 Samuel 9 and the story of Mephibosheth to show what happens when shame defines us, and what changes when the King calls us by our real name.
Title: Finding Your True Identity Beyond Shame
Scripture: 2 Samuel 9
Pastor: Jess DiSabatino
Date: May 10, 2026
Key Takeaways
Lodebar is real, and most of us live there in some form. Lodebar means "no pasture" in Hebrew. A forgotten, dusty village where people ended up when something went wrong. For Mephibosheth it was a literal place. For most of us it is an interior place: the chapter of our story we wish we could burn, the shame we carry, the version of ourselves we retreated into after something broke. Most of us are not hiding in a village. We are hiding in plain sight.
Shame doesn't just say you did something bad. It says you are bad. Shame collapses the gap between what you've done and who you are. It convinces you that the worst thing about you is the truest thing about you. Mephibosheth was royalty (grandson of a king, son of Jonathan). But by the time we meet him, he calls himself a "dead dog." That is what shame does to identity. It rewrites the story.
Nobody is born in Lodebar. People end up there. Mephibosheth didn't choose his story. At five years old, his grandfather and father were killed in battle. His nurse fled with him and dropped him, and he was crippled for life. Many of us are limping through life because of something that happened to us at 5, at 15, or at 49. We didn't deserve it. Someone dropped us. The shame is not yours to carry.
The turning point of the story is one word: remembered. Years after making a covenant with Jonathan, David sits in his palace and remembers. He goes looking for someone to bless. This is the picture of what God is doing for you right now. He sees you in your Lodebar. He is calling you by name. And here is the gospel: we are not David in this story. Jesus is. He is the better David. God did not wait for us to find our way out. Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Not after we cleaned up. While we were still hiding in the ruins, the King came down.
At the king's table, everyone looks the same, and the invitation is forever. When you sit at a table, your legs go underneath it. You can't tell who walked in and who had to be carried. You can't tell who grew up in the palace and who grew up in Lodebar. Everyone has a plate, a cup, and the same food the king is eating. This is what Jesus invites us to. And the invitation is not a one-time pity dinner. Mephibosheth ate at David's table always, permanently. Romans 8:15 says you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption. You have a permanent seat with your name on it. Not your shame name. Your real name. 1 Peter 2:9: chosen, royal priesthood, holy nation, God's special possession.
